In this issue...

Rosh Hashana Perspectives - Eli Gewirtz

Rosh Hashana - Talking Points - Rabbi Elazar Meisels

High Holiday Talk - Apples, Honey, and you - Rabbi Leiby Burnham
Yom Kippur - Talking Points - Rabbi Elazar Meisels
Sukkah Perspectives- Rabbi Dovid Baslaw
Sukkot Talk - Height Makes Might - Rabbi Elazar Meisels
Simchat Torah Talk - Rabbi Reuven Drucker
Partner Encounters - Partnership in Wedding Planning- Mrs. Dena Yellin
Hey I Never Knew that! - Amazing Insights about Yom Tov- Ozer Alport 

High Holiday Table Talk; For discussion around the Yom Tov Table

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rosh Hashanah reflections by Eli Gewirtz

talking points - Rosh Hashanah
Rabbi Elazar Meisels

1. Do Worry, Be Happy

“One should launder his clothing and take a haircut on Erev Rosh Hashanah” Shulchan Aruch 581:4

• Launder…and…haircut – To demonstrate that we are confident in the Almighty that we will emerge with a favorable judgment. - Tur Shulchan Aruch 581 Nevertheless, one should not attire himself in overly elegant apparel as on other holidays, for the awesomeness of the judgment should be upon him. Instead, one should wear clean and neat white clothing. – Taz (Rabbi David HaLevi) However, in a locale where the custom is not to wear white clothing on Rosh Hashanah, one should merely wear respectable, but inelegant clothing. – Magen Avraham 597(Rabbi Avraham Abele ben Chaim HaLevi Gombiner, c. 1637-1683)
• “Which nation can compare to this great nation? Human nature is such that when a person knows that he is destined to stand in judgment, he dons black clothing and allows his hair to grow long and unkempt, so consumed is he by anxiety over the outcome. The Jewish people, however, act in an opposite manner. They wear white clothes, maintain their normal eating habits, trim their beards, and rejoice, secure in the knowledge that the Almighty will perform miracles on their behalf.” – Talmud Yerushalmi

As serious a day as Rosh Hashanah is, and as frightened as we are over our likely shortfall of sufficient merits, we are still confident in the Almighty’s ability to help us emerge from judgment intact, reasoning that His love for us is so strong that He will advocate on our behalf. Thus, we adopt a somewhat contradictory attitude. On the one hand, we inwardly maintain an air of grim solemnity since we’re nervous and fearful that we will be found lacking before the Almighty. On the other hand, we conduct ourselves outwardly in a festive manner, demonstrating our confidence that the Almighty will find a way to ensure that our sins will be forgiven.

2. Can You Hear The Sound?

“Speak to the Children of Israel saying; in the seventh month, on the first of the month, it shall be for you a day of rest. A remembrance of the sounding [of the Shofar,] a holy assembly.” VaYikra (Leviticus 23:24)

• A remembrance of the sounding [of the shofar] – This remembrance is achieved by reciting ten Biblical verses which relate to Divine Remembrances [i.e. they mention G-d's remembering human beings for good throughout history,] and Biblical verses which relate to the Shofar, to remember for your sake the binding of Isaac in whose stead a ram was brought as an offering. – Rashi (Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki; 1040-1105)
• A remembrance of the sounding [of the shofar] – Our sages teach us that Rosh Hashanah is much more than just a day of sounding a Shofar or reciting specific verses. Instead, it is primarily a Day of Judgment, upon which the entire world is judged to determine whether they will be sentenced to life or death. Why then, did the Torah conceal this primary aspect of the day, and refer to it only by its secondary aspect, the blowing of the Shofar?

Rabbeinu Bachya explains that the more spiritually endowed the concept, the more concealed it is from mankind, and the greater the effort needed to reveal it. Examples of this are Tefillin and Tzitzit, which are barely hinted to in the Torah, although their laws are numerous. Their elevated spiritual significance demands that they not be clearly articulated. Instead, they are merely alluded to, requiring us to elevate ourselves in order to comprehend their essence. Similarly, Rosh Hashanah, which heralds the onset of the Ten Days of Repentance (which culminates in Yom Kippur) is of such an exalted spiritual nature, that it cannot be revealed to the masses and must only be alluded to in cryptic fashion, and accessible only to those who sanctify themselves and aspire to it wholeheartedly.

 3. L’Chaim: To Life

“Remember us for life, O’ King who desires [that we be granted] life, and inscribe us in the Book of Life, for Your sake, O’ God of Life.” Rosh Hashanah Liturgy

• What kind of life are we referring to in this prayer? Does G-d merely desire for us to live another day in order to consume exotic and tasty foods, and further indulge in earthly delights? A life devoted to maximizing hedonistic pleasures is not a life, but a mere existence. Instead, we request that G-d grant us the opportunity and wherewithal to devote ourselves fully to His service, the essence of life itself. – Baalei Mussar (Masters of Ethical Teachings)

In his sermon offered on the first night of Selichot, Rabbi Chaim of Volozhin zt”l, explained that although much of the liturgy on Rosh Hashanah is dedicated to requesting additional life, one would be foolish to devote his precious prayers on this sacred day to asking only for additional life on earth. Instead, his intent should be to solicit the most sublime life imaginable; Eternal Life in the World to Come. This life-form far surpasses anything available to us on this earth, and it would be a pity to expend the most powerful weapon in our arsenal, the prayers of the High Holidays, on anything less.return to top
Rabbi Elazar Meisels can be reached at rabbimeisels@partnersintorah.org 

High Holiday Talk - Apples, Honey and You
Rabbi Leiby Burnham

Dear Rabbi,
It seems like every year I get the same feeling. It’s a few days before Rosh Hashanah and suddenly I’m caught up in a frenzy of emotions. I want as much as possible to be ready for this awesome festival, yet I find myself struggling to remember what it is all about. I remember speeches I heard and essays I read that talked about it. I know it is the birthday of the creation of man. It is the time when we re-evaluate our relationship with G-d, and coronate him as our King. It is the Day of Judgment which will determine our coming year, and a day in which we can recreate ourselves. But the more I remember, the more confused I get. Now that I know all this, what should I do differently this year on Rosh Hashanah? How does all this relate to our prayer service in the synagogue, which takes up most of our day?
Thanks Rabbi, and Shana Tova,
Mark R.

Dear Mark,
Three years ago, while studying in Yeshiva, one of my Rabbis explained one of the Rosh Hashanah practices to me, and based on his response, I think we can begin to understand what the holiday is all about. There is a question that bothers many people about the practice we have on the first night of Rosh Hashanah. We take an apple, dip it in honey, and say a prayer asking G-d that we should have a sweet new year. The symbolism here seems almost childish, sweet apple + sweet honey = Sweet New Year!? There are also a number of other foods each with its prayer that all have “cute” word plays that connect the food with the prayer. (Some people even take lettuce, a raisin, and a celery stalk, hold them together, and then say a prayer asking G-d to “let us have a raise in salary.”!) What is it supposed to mean to us? How does it tie in to an otherwise solemn Day of Judgment?

The answer mentioned in the writings of Rabbi Isaac Hutner (of blessed memory), the late Rosh Yeshiva (Dean) of Yeshivas Chaim Berlin in NYC is as follows. Rosh Hashanah translated literally means “The Head of the Year.” We know in Judaism there is a concept that every word has great depth. When we say Rosh Hashanah is the “head” of the year, it must be more than just the first day of the New Year. The head is the body part that controls the rest of the body. In it lies our brain, the processing chip for all our human functions. A neuro-surgeon when performing brain surgery is extremely careful to not slip even a millimeter, because that millimeter-although so tiny in space-since it is located in the brain can have drastic effects on the rest of the body.

Rosh Hashanah has the same power. It is the “head” of the Year. It is the processing chip through which the programs for the coming year run. The smallest, most minute changes that we make in the head of the year can have the most profound affect on our entire year! This is the deeper message of the special foods we eat. During the rest of the year, such small actions would have little or no effect, yet on Rosh Hashanah they have the power to help give us a better year. (An analogy to explain this is wet concrete. While concrete is still wet you can take a little branch and carve into it whatever you want but the minute it is dry, you can’t even scrape the surface with the same branch.) The lesson we learn from these foods teaches us how powerful the day is.

From here we can start to put together the task of the day. The “goal” is to try to make changes in how we view our world. It is a day to remember that on this day man was put on earth for a purpose, and that purpose must drive us in our daily living. We must realize that G-d was the One who put us here, and that we must reaffirm our allegiance to him, by accepting him upon us as our King. We must cry out like the broken cry of the Shofar with a genuine desire to see the coming year be a more elevated one than the past.

We have no mitzvot to do on this day, like on other festivals. No Succah to dwell in, no matzah to eat, no lulav to shake: because the change has to be in our “Rosh,” in our head. If we can change our perspectives on this day to ones that are more motivated, more cognizant of all that G-d gives us continuously, more mindful to the fact that everything we do needs to be accounted for, then the rest of the year will flow forth successfully. It is the day to make meaningful marks in the wet cement of the coming year.

Wishing you a sweet, and successful New Year,
Rabbi Leiby Burnham return to top   

talking points - yom Kippur
Rabbi Elazar Meisels

1. Toll-Free Number

“O’ G-d, You taught us to recite the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy, so remember for us today the covenant of these thirteen, as You made known to the humble one [Moses] in ancient times…” Yom Kippur Liturgy

• You taught us to recite – “Rabbi Yochanan said, ‘Were it not for a verse that says as much, it would be forbidden to say this. This teaches that Almighty appeared to Moses [i.e. in a prophetic vision – Ritva] in the guise of a prayer-leader wrapped in a Talit and taught him the Thirteen Attributes. He said, ‘Whenever Israel sins, they should recite this in its proper format and I will forgive them.’” – Tractate Rosh Hashanah 17b
• It would forbidden to say this - It would be forbidden to say that the Almighty provided a visual demonstration of how to recite the Thirteen Attributes – Maharsha (Rabbi Shmuel Eliezer Eidels (1555-1631)
• So remember for us today – “Rabbi Yehudah taught, ‘There was a covenant forged regarding the Thirteen Attributes that they are never returned unrequited.’” – Tractate Rosh Hashanah 17b

Why, indeed, was it necessary for the Almighty to provide a visual demonstration of how to recite the Thirteen Attributes? Why couldn’t a simple oral lesson suffice to convey this point? Ben Yehoyada explains that this promise of the efficacy of the Thirteen Attributes is counter-intuitive, entirely out of the ordinary, and utterly dependent upon G-d’s inimitable attribute of Kindness. As such, it is constantly subject to repeal, should Satan mount an effective counter-attack. Only by bringing it into the world of “actuality” through an “actual” prophetic vision, could it be guaranteed against future condemnation. By demonstrating it to Moses, the Almighty immunized us against the diatribes of the Heavenly Prosecutor.

2. No Free Shipping

“And the Word of Hashem came to Jonah, son of Amittai, saying…” Haftorah, Yom Kippur Minchah

• Why is the Book of Jonah read on Yom Kippur?
  • 1. The repentance of Ninveh’s wicked population serves a reminder for us to repent our own sins. – Shelah HaKadosh (Rabbi Yeshaya Hurwitz, 1565-1630)
  • 2. The message of Jonah’s prophecy applies to each and every one of us, for it is a journey that we all must take. We are born with a subconscious realization of the fact that we have a mission. We seek escape, because our mission is often one that we are afraid to attempt. Yet, if we embrace G-d’s compassion, we will find the strength to embark upon it and complete it successfully. – Vilna Gaon (Rabbi Elijah ben Shlomo Zalman, 1720–1797)
  • 3. When Jonah wondered why G-d had destroyed the Kikayon tree, God replied, “You took pity on a Kikayon for which you did not labor ... Shall I not take pity on Nineveh, that great city in which there are more than 120,000 people who do not know their right hand from their left, and many beasts as well?” With these words, G-d impressed upon Jonah the idea that the flaws of the residents of Nineveh did not render them unworthy of life. Each person has a purpose in life and so long as he is willing to pursue it, he will be given multiple chances to attain his goal. – Sefer Likkutim
  • 4. The story of Jonah teaches that the harshest Heavenly decree can be reversed with sincere repentance. – Levush Mordechai (Rabbi Mordechai Jaffe, c. 1535-1612)

If Jonah was holy and righteous enough to be chosen to deliver G-d’s warning to Ninveh, what could possibly have possessed him to believe that he could escape his responsibility by fleeing to Tarshish? There is no question that Jonah knew that G-d would find a way to deliver the message, but his overwhelming love for the Jewish people convinced him to flee, in the hopes that G-d would find some other channel through which to deliver the message. Instead, through a series of miraculous events, G-d turned Jonah back and insisted that He carry out his mission. His intentions may have been noble, but noble intentions are no match for G-d’s will, which we are bidden to execute even if our intellect perceives things differently.

 3. Five To Strive

“It is a positive commandment on Yom HaKippurim to refrain from partaking in food and drink…we have also learned…that it is forbidden to wash oneself on this day, anoint oneself, wear [leather] shoes, or engage in conjugal relations…” Rambam Hilchot Teshuvah 5:1,2

• These five afflictions correspond to the Five Books of the Torah, and remind us to accept them wholeheartedly without the natural barrier imposed by pleasure seeking. – Titein Torah o The five afflictions correspond to the five senses through which a person is attracted to temptation, and which distract him from spiritual pursuits. – Likkutei Torah

It is imperative to remember that the point of these five afflictions is not to make ourselves uncomfortable merely for the sake of experiencing discomfort. Instead, the goal is to enable us to rise above our daily habits which calcify us, and prevent us from seriously pursuing spiritual growth. Therefore, when experiencing the discomfort of Yom Kippur, a person must take the opportunity to seriously consider what changes he or she needs to make in order to become a better person, and strategize on how to implement these changes in a positive and uplifting manner. return to top
Rabbi Elazar Meisels can be reached at rabbimeisels@partnersintorah.org 

Sukkah Perspectives- by Dovid Baslaw

(Vayikra 23:41) וחגתם אתו חג לה' שבעת ימים בשנה

“You shall celebrate it as a festival for Hashem. A seven day period in the year”

One of the many qualities inherent in the commandments pertaining to the holiday of Sukkot is the opportunity it provides for the observer to create channels of Kedushah (holiness) that one can draw from and touch every aspect of our life.

In his exquisite collection of essays on the holidays of the year entitled Netivot Shalom, Rabbi Shalom Noach Brezofsky (otherwise known as the Slonimer Rebbe) sites the unique wording of a verse in the Torah describing the YomTov of Sukkot.
The verse reads: (Vayikra 23:41) וחגתם אתו חג לה' שבעת ימים בשנה
“You shall celebrate it as a festival for Hashem. A seven day period in the year”

Rabbi Brezovsky notes that the Torah does not include the words“in the year” with regard to any other holiday and offers an important insight as to why this is so.. Every year, the spiritual cleansing process that Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur provide, enables the Jew to begin the year with a clean slate. With that accomplished, the days of Sukkot that soon follow and the commandments that are fulfilled throughout its duration allows each individual the opportunity to build a solid, unblemished spiritual foundation of Divine service for the New Year. Rabbi Brezovsky notes that a Jew can serve his Creator through one of three dimensions: space, time and body. A person can serve HaShem by designating a space for the purpose of serving Him or by setting aside time spending it in an elevated manner or by using his body to fullfill a mitzvah. On Sukkot, the holiday which occurs at the beginning of the calendar year, a Jew is called upon to employ all three dimensions in the service of HaShem. He is instructed to take a designated period of time and spend it intimately with HaShem. He is also instructed to designate a space within which he should build a sukkah. the holiness of which is so powerful that the neshamot (souls) of the founding leaders of the Jewish people come as guests and visit. He is also instructed to bring together (and shake) the “four Species”, where each species is symbolic of a vital organ of the human body used in Divine service (the lulav corresponds to the spine, the etrog to the heart, the myrtle to the eyes, and the willow to the lips). Bringing each of these together demonstrates our willingness to serve Hashem with our entire body.

As we conclude Sukkot which, like no other holiday, involves our service to Hashem with time, space, and body, we are not only setting the stage for the upcoming year, but infusing our time, space, and body in the service of Hashem every day “in the year”.

Sukkot Talk- Height Makes Might  Rabbi Elazar Meisels

Dear Rabbi Meisels,
I am studying the laws of the Four Species and last night my partner taught me the proper blessing to recite when shaking them. I was struck by the fact that in the benediction we refer to the “taking of the Lulav” and omit all mention of the other three species. Why was the Lulav selected as the representative of the four? Why not the Etrog, or one of the other species?
Thank you,
Isidore

Dear Isidore,
Your question is so on target that the sages of the Talmud actually addressed it, and I’ll be glad to share their answer with you. The discussion takes place in Tractate Sukkah 37b, and reads as follows:

“Rabbah says: The Lulav must be held in the right hand, and the Etrog in the left hand. Why? Because with the Lulav, three mitzvot [Lulav, Hadas, Aravah] are performed, and with the Etrog only one. Said R. Yirmiah to R’ Zrika: Why do we pronounce the benediction over the Lulav only? Because it is higher than the other species. But why not raise the Etrog [higher,] and pronounce the benediction over it? He answered: Because by nature it grows higher than the other species [i.e. the date palm is a taller tree than that of the other species]”

The commentators explain that the Talmud suggested only the Etrog as a possible alternative because in the verse in the Torah which informs us of the obligation to take the Four Species [“On the first day, you must take for yourself a fruit of the citron tree, an unopened palm frond, myrtle branches, and willows that grow near the brook…” Leviticus 23:40,] the Etrog is mentioned first and then followed by the Lulav. Thus, it was thought that of the four, the most appropriate representative would be the Etrog, if not for the fact that the Lulav tree grows taller than the Etrog tree and is therefore a more ideal choice.

Although the Talmud offers little scriptural support for its contention that the Lulav best represents the other three species, Igra D’Pirka offers a beautiful allusion to this idea from a verse in Shir HaShirim [Song of Songs 7:9,] “Amarti Aaleh B’tamar Ochazah B’sansinav…” – “I said: 'I will climb up into the palm-tree, I will take hold of the branches thereof…” The word “Aaleh” is spelled Aleph, Ayin, Lamed, Hey, the first letters of the words, Etrog, Aravah, Lulav, and Hadas [the Four Species.] Thus, the word Aaleh in the verse is representative of all Four Species and the verse can be read. “Imrosi – my words regarding, Aaleh – the Four Species, B’Tamar – will be expressed through the date palm [i.e. Lulav.]

Interestingly, Rambam [Yad HaChazakah Hilchot Lulav, 7:6] offers a different rationale than that found in the Talmud for the choice of Lulav over the others. He explains that it is because two of the other species are bound to the Lulav and even the Etrog, which is not bound to it, is still held adjacent to it. Therefore, by lifting the Lulav, one fulfills the other mitzvot as well and this renders the Lulav as an ideal choice through which to recite the blessing on all four. [Aruch L’Ner [Tractate Sukkah 37b] who is troubled by Rambam’s decision to offer a rationale other than the Talmud’s, explains that Rambam felt that the reason offered earlier by the Talmud for holding the Lulav specifically in the right hand, is sufficient to explain why we mention Lulav in the blessing over the others as well. The point that the Talmud made about the Lulav’s height, was only necessary if we don’t hold that it is crucial to hold the Lulav in the right hand. Since we rule like Rabbah that the Lulav must be taken in the right hand, this reason suffices to explain why we mention the Lulav in the blessing as well.]

These two explanations address your question purely from a halachic standpoint. The commentaries offer various homiletic explanations for this as well. I’ll share with you two.

The Midrash [VaYikra 30:14] tells us that each of the Four Species represents one part of the human body. The Etrog looks like and corresponds to the human heart, the Aravot, long and thin, to the mouth. The Hadassim with their oblong shape, evoke comparisons to the eyes, and the Lulav to the spine with its vertebrae. Influential as the first three limbs may be, they do not compare to the spine which controls the entire lower portion of the human body and through which all mitzvah activity is performed. This fact alone renders it optimal for representing the other three in the benediction.

Meiri offers another explanation based on a well-known Midrash that explains that trees generate primarily two things: fruit and fragrance. Fruit represents Torah scholarship, and fragrance represents mitzvot. Each of the Four Species offers a different combination of these two and therefore symbolizes a different kind of Jew. The Etrog, which has a fragrant odor and is an edible fruit, is compared to a Torah scholar who also performs many mitzvot. The Lulav gives off zero fragrance, but produces dates, and is compared to a Torah scholar with great Torah knowledge but few mitzvot. The Hadas gives off a beautiful fragrance but produces inedible fruit, and the Aravah offers neither fragrance nor fruit and symbolizes the Jew who possesses neither Torah, nor mitzvot. Understood thusly, the Etrog represents the ideal Jew.

Since the Etrog represents the ideal Jew, it stands apart from the others, which explains why it is not bound together with the others, only held adjacent. It can stand before the Almighty on its own merits entirely. The other three species are each individually flawed and thus, they must present their case as a unit, and hope that one compensates for the other who is lacking. The reality is that more so than the Etrog which symbolizes perfection, these three represent the common Jew who is an imperfect specimen and therefore one of them was chosen to represent the greater body of Jewry through the taking of the Four Species. Of the three, the Lulav, which symbolizes Torah with a minimum of mitzvot, is the most prominent. This is why the Lulav is chosen to represent the others in the benediction. It represents an imperfect Jew, but one who strives to be the best he possibly can be.

Wishing you a joyous and spiritually enriching holiday!
Rabbi Elazar Meisels return to top

Simchat Torah Talk - Thanks for the Light - Rabbi Reuven Drucker

Dear Rabbi:
I heard from my partner about the great celebrations that are held on Simchat Torah in synagogues throughout the world, and am looking forward to attending one this year. My question for you is: historically, what took place on Simchat Torah that made it such a great day for celebration?
Happy New Year,
Ed P.

Dear Ed:
I have some shocking news for you! Although most celebrations that take place on the Jewish calendar are associated with historical events—Passover (the exodus from Egypt), Shavuot (the giving of the Torah), Sukkot (the protection of the Jewish people when they traveled through the Wilderness), Chanukah (the salvation from the hands of the Assyrian-Greeks) and Purim (the salvation from the hands of the Persians)—the joy we experience on the day of Simchat Torah does not have any historical underpinnings. Certainly some explanation is in order.

Before the explanation, however, let me engage you in a parable. Imagine you were in Houston at night after Hurricane Ike hit. The city is without electricity and you need to get to the bus station in order to evacuate. The storm’s high winds and voluminous rain left devastation in its wake and debris all over the streets. Imagine that a friend of yours gave you a flashlight before you set out to the bus station. While others fumbled their way down the sidewalks, bumping into downed poles and stumbling on bricks and wood planks, you were able to circumvent trouble during your slow and deliberate walk. Upon arriving at the station, you saw others who suffered from bruises and lacerations from their excursion through town, and you felt an even greater appreciation for your friend’s thoughtfulness. As your bus pulled out of the station, imagine that your friend showed up to say goodbye. Undoubtedly, your heart would pound with love and joy for the incredible gift of illumination that he gave you—a gift that truly spared you so much grief and provided you with so much pleasantness.

The joy of Simchat Torah, although not rooted in a past event in Jewish history, is really the joy of the traveler through life who uses the illumination of the Torah to guide him or her around the pitfalls and “landmines” of life. By studying the wisdom of the Torah and implementing its tenets, we are able to transcend the trendy wisdom of one decade, which oftentimes seems primitive and unenlightened in the next. In America circa 1960, there were many places where Afro-Americans were required to travel in the back of a bus. Some 40 years later, an Afro-American has been awarded the right to run for President. What were they thinking back then, one might ask? How come some of G-d’s creations were so discriminated against because of the color of their skin, which was not of their choosing?

Only with the absolute Truth of our Torah are we able to rise above the current notions of the host culture within which we live. Its source is rooted in G-d’s perspective of His creation and He has shared this illumination with us, so we do not stumble and fall on our path through life. In our daily prayers, we say, “[G-d] has separated us from those who go astray and has given us a Torah of Truth.” The alternative—a life based on what human beings believe to be correct—often leads to making choices that conform with the current mores of society, but do not stand up to the test of time. Each year on Simchat Torah, a Jew is overcome with G-d’s gift of illumination.

However, the question remains: why do we reserve our expression of joy specifically on this day of the year, as opposed to any other day of the year? Simchat Torah is celebrated on the holiday of Shemini Atzeret, which is the last day of the Sukkot holiday. Thousands of years ago, when the Holy Temple in Jerusalem was in operation, the Jews would offer 70 sacrifices on behalf of all mankind, (which according to our Tradition is divided into 70 nations). Essentially, after achieving Divine forgiveness for their own transgressions during the Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur period immediately preceding Sukkot, the Jewish nation involved itself in gaining pardon for all the nations of the world with these sacrifices. The last day of the holiday (Shemini Atzeret), is a “farewell day” between G-d and His people Israel. “Your departure [at the end of this festival period] is difficult for Me to bear. Stay one more day [and let us celebrate intimately, without busying yourself with efforts on behalf of others],” our Sages characterize this final day of the holiday season. This is the farewell at the bus station, so to speak, and this moment of intimacy allows us to experience a private moment of appreciation and joy—both the joy for the illumination we have garnered to date and the anticipation of the illumination we hope to gain in the future.

Ed, I hope you enjoy your Simchat Torah this year and for many years to come.

Your friend,
Rabbi Reuven Drucker

Partner Encounters - Partnership in Wedding Planning - Dena Yellin

Like thousands of college students who visited Israel on a Birthright trip, Jeff signed up for a Partner in Torah before returning to America. And like many of those who had came before him, Jeff reclaimed his Jewish birthright in the fullest sense of the word as a fully-informed member of the Jewish community. Certainly, no one anticipated how the ripples would spread from Jeff’s interest, and how things would all fall into place around him.

Jeff got more and more involved in Judaism and in due time he was set to leave for Israel to study at Machon Shlomo, in Jerusalem. In the months preceding his trip, he spent many a Shabbat with members of the observant community nearby in his hometown of Jacksonville, Florida. He started talking with his mother about all the things he was studying and tried to encourage her to get on board to incorporate more Jewish practice in their home.

They’d been a team, Jeff and Marilyn, since the divorce back when Jeff was a toddler. Jeff was Marilyn’s only child, and she was committed to making him happy. So if Jeff was interested in doing more, Marilyn was open to talking about it – but she had no clue how to go about it.

Growing up in Jacksonville, North Carolina, Marilyn’s father traveled a lot. But she knew he had been raised in a religious home, and when he was around, she’d see his tefillin. She also knew that walking to shul on Shabbat was something that meant a lot to him. As an adult, she had tried to get Jeff access to Jewish education by enrolling him in the Solomon Schecter School, and by bringing him to a local synagogue where many people drove to Shabbat services. That was as much observance as Marilyn could manage.

At some point, Jeff handed Marilyn the phone number of Partners in Torah and suggested that she call up and get a partner herself. “I figured I knew so little that I probably couldn’t even be helped,” remembers Marilyn, “so I didn’t think it would last more than a month. I remember telling them that I would really need a very open partner, who wouldn’t be fazed by questions coming from so far out. I was basically going along with the idea just for Jeff’s sake, but I didn’t think anything would come of it.”

Yehudis, Marilyn’s Torah partner, recalls getting started. “Partners in Torah told me that Marilyn wanted basic Jewish information, that she was a real beginner whose son had become observant. After speaking with Marilyn, they recommended that we get started with a basic introduction-to-Judaism type of book. But it quickly became obvious that, as a mother of a newly observant son, Marilyn had specific things she needed help with, fast.

“During the first session, I saw that the book just didn’t seem to be working for Marilyn. I decided to backtrack a bit, make it more personal, and told Marilyn why I decided to join Partners in Torah. I told her about someone I knew who’d joined and made a really nice relationship with their partner, and how inspired I was by this lovely partnership. Then I asked Marilyn why she’d joined, and she described her son’s transformation and wanted guidance on how to run a traditional Shabbat.

They studied the meaning of Shabbat and the purpose behind many of the dos and don’ts. Marilyn eventually joined a local class to learn more about the laws of Kasrhut, and Yehudis served as her personal tutor for questions about all that she was learning. Today, two years later, Marilyn is pretty sure that she never would have been able to stick with it if not for Yehudis’ patience and her exceptionally warm, outgoing personality.

“As we went along, Yehudis just did not allow it to be overwhelming – which was a pretty big accomplishment, considering how little I knew and how sure I was that this whole thing wouldn’t amount to much. We became friends, and I could see that she really cared.”

Before they knew it, September came, and Jeff’s departure to Israel was upon them. Yehudis knew it was going to be a tough send off for Marilyn and her heart went out to this very devoted mother. “Come to me for Rosh Hashana,” Yehudis said, “You’ve got to join me. You’ll hear the shofar in shul, you’ll be with my family, and we’ll finally get to meet!”

So Marilyn came. She flew in and Yehudis stood at the airport with a sign bearing Marilyn’s name. “It was just like in a novel,” says Yehudis. ”I had no idea what she looked like. I had sent her a picture but it didn’t arrive before her trip, and I didn’t have one of her. So neither of us knew exactly who we were looking for!”

“Spending Rosh Hashana with Yehudis’ family was amazing,” Marilyn remembers. “I had never experienced the beauty of Shabbat. And there seemed to be people coming in and out of her house, all day long, every day that I was there. I’d never seen anything like it! I was afraid of doing the wrong thing, but with the warm reception I got from the entire family, the ice was melted. Yehudis showed me how to make challah and I did it right along with her.”

With time, Marilyn became a frequent traveler, going further afield to spend part of Pesach in Israel with Jeff, and the rest of the holiday with Yehudis, then back with Yehudis and company again for yet another Rosh Hashana. Jeff came to Yehudis’ house too during the summer when he was back in America.

“During our discussions over the phone, Yehudis always let me know when Rosh Chodesh was coming and help me get ready for whatever holiday was coming up,” Marilyn says Marilyn with emotion. “She gave me so much day-to-day help and became a true friend.”

Every now and then, both Yehudis and Marilyn would get calls from Hava, a Partners in Torah staffer who was keeping tabs on the partnership. Hava would call to check in and see how the learning was going, and offered to make connections for Marilyn with resources in her area. Sometimes Marilyn had kashrut questions, and when Yehudis couldn’t reach her Rabbi, Hava would put Marilyn in touch with a qualified Rabbi who could help her out.

Well into Jeff’s second year at Machon Shlomo, he got engaged. Yehudis went into high gear and made it her business to prepare Marilyn for all the new things she was facing, from the six-week engagement to the Orthodox wedding in Israel. Technical details, esoteric points of philosophy surrounding a Jewish wedding, travel plans and the understandable angst of a mother whose son was about to embark on yet another stage of life so far away… All this buzzed through the telephone wires as the date approached. During this time, Yehudis realized that she couldn’t let Marilyn face this challenge alone. “I wanted the experience not only to be okay for Marilyn, but also to be meaningful – the wedding of her only child, after all! – and I knew I’d just have to be there at her side.”

At first, it was going to be a surprise. But when the frequency of their conversations changed from once a week to every day and even several times a day, Yehudis felt like she was going to bust with her secret. Finally she gave up the charade and told Marilyn she was going to be there. Soon, they were coordinating travel plans to meet at a central airport and fly into Israel together.

The wedding was unforgettable. Marilyn took everything in with awe and excitement, finding the many facets of the traditional wedding both curious and heart-warming. She felt fortunate to have Yehudis at her side throughout the experience. “Yehudis was great. She sent me books; she sent me a pamphlet she had used for her own wedding – it was so helpful. And the wedding….I’d never seen so much happiness. It was so different from what I’d seen at every wedding I ever attended, including my own – those were more stress than anything else. Here, everyone seemed to be genuinely as happy for Jeff and his bride as the couple was themselves!”

Marilyn’s family wasn’t able to attend the wedding because they couldn’t get passports made quickly enough. Yehudis was all the family Marilyn and Jeff had there with them. Side by side, Marilyn and Yehudis sat next to the bride at the reception. They watched the men dancing with the groom and Marilyn knew this experience was above and beyond anything she’d ever seen.

During the wedding meal¸ a gentle tap on the shoulder brought Marilyn face to face with yet another stranger who’d come to share in her son’s simchah. Hava, the Partners in Torah staffer, who actually lives in Jerusalem, had come to introduce herself and wish Marilyn Mazel Tov.

It was tremendously meaningful for both Marilyn and Yehudis to share this momentous event. It was a moving testimony to the family-like bond they’d developed and Marilyn’s tremendous growth, products of their telephone partnership. The two women continue to share the joy of their learning – while also sharing the nachas of the young couple building a traditional home together. As they’ve discovered, living in different states doesn’t mean living separate lives or lifestyles; there is a gap to be bridged, and it can all start with a phone call. return to top   

Hey, I never knew that! By Ozer Alport

Amazing Insights About the Weekly Parsha   

Q: There is a three-year cycle which governs the tithes that a person is obligated to take from his crops. In the year following the conclusion of a three-year cycle, one has until the day before Passover to deliver all of his tithes to their respective destinations. On the last day of Passover, he recites a passage (26:13-15) in which he declares that he has properly observed the laws governing the separation and distribution of the tithes. The Mishnah (Sotah 32a) refers to this section as the “confession” of the tithes. In what way is it considered a confession when it makes no reference to sin, but rather represents a declaration that one has acted properly?

A: Rabbi Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev offers an innovative explanation of one of the lines from the Mussaf (additional) prayers for Rosh Hashanah. He begins by noting an interesting difference between the proper attitude toward mitzvot and sins. With regard to a person’s sins, it is preferable to remember them constantly, so as to fully repent for them and to be careful not to repeat them. Regarding mitzvot, however, it is advisable not to remember and dwell on one’s successes, as this may cause a person to become haughty or complacent, but rather to leave them in the past and always focus on future growth and accomplishments.

At the end of the Remembrances section of the Rosh Hashanah Mussaf prayers, we say, “You (Hashem) remember all that which is forgotten.” In other words, Hashem remembers whatever we forget and “forgets” whatever we remember. If a person acts properly, remembering his sins and forgetting his mitzvot, then Hashem will overlook his misdeeds and focus on recalling his accomplishments. If, however, the person forgets his sins and arrogantly dwells on his mitzvot, then Hashem will meticulously remember each sin while overlooking all of his good deeds!

Based on this explanation, the Satmar Rebbe Rabbi Yoel Teitelbaum suggests that in reciting the declaration concerning the distribution of tithes, the person recounts in detail how he acted properly and adhered to all of the relevant laws. In doing so, he is remembering and dwelling upon the mitzvot which he performed over the previous three years, something which Hashem in general prefers that we not do. In this sense, the proclamation that he has behaved properly over the previous three years is none other than a confession!

Q: The Talmud (Rosh Hashanah (34a) quotes various opinions regarding the sound the Torah intended when it instructed us (23:24) to blow the shofar on Rosh Hashanah. In order to avoid doubt and to perform the mitzvah according to all opinions, we are accustomed to blow three different sounds: tekiah, shevarim, and teruah. Although we sound the shofar according to each possible interpretation, there is nevertheless a specific order in which we arrange the sounds. When blowing them all together, we first blow the simple tekiah, then the three shevarim sounds, then the broken teruahs, and finally another unbroken tekiah. Why were the sounds arranged in this particular order?

A: The Shelah HaKadosh, Rabbi Yeshaya Horowitz, writes that this order was specifically chosen in order to symbolize for us the concept of repentance. King Solomon writes in Ecclesiastes (7:29), “Hashem made man straight, but people sought out numerous complex calculations.” We begin by sounding an unbroken tekiah to symbolize the simple, straightforward manner in which Hashem initially created us. Unfortunately, as the verse prophesies, we inevitably complicate situations unnecessarily, as represented by the broken sounds of the shevarim. As if that weren’t sufficient, we fail to recognize the error of our ways until we have reached rock bottom, as suggested by the short crying sounds of the teruah. Sometimes it is only after a person has fallen into the depths of despair that he is able to recognize how far he has fallen from his original heights, and it is this realization which jolts and inspires him to full and proper repentance, allowing him to return to the straight tekiah just as he was created!

Q: According to one opinion in the Talmud (Sukkah 11b), we are commanded to sit in sukkot in order to commemorate the miracle of the Clouds of Glory which surrounded the Jews during their travels through the wilderness. As this miracle began immediately upon the Exodus from Egypt, a number of commentators question why the holiday commemorating the miracle takes place in Tishrei and not in Nissan, when the miracle began?

A: The Vilna Gaon answers that we are not commemorating the Clouds of Glory which initially protected the Jews in Nissan, as those clouds were taken away at the time of the sin of the Golden Calf. Rather, we are commemorating the clouds which returned on the 15th day of Tishrei after Hashem forgave the Jewish people, and which remained to surround and protect them for the duration of their sojourn in the wilderness. He explains that the Jews were forgiven on the 10th of Tishrei (Yom Kippur), and on the 11th Moses commanded them regarding the building of the Tabernacle. They brought their contributions for the Tabernacle for two days (Exodus 36:3), the 12th and the 13th, and on the 14th Moses realized that the donations were sufficient and announced that no more should be brought (36:6). On the following day, the 15th of Tishrei, the work began on the building of the Tabernacle and on that day, the Clouds of Glory returned to the Jewish camp, which we celebrate and remember on Sukkot. return to top

Ozer Alport can be reached at ozer@partnersintorah.org

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